(Note: I started this post before our trip and am just now getting out of my head an onto this blog. Florida trip details to come- maybe.)
If you have any contact with pre-schoolers, then you have probably heard about this book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. It is a super cute story about a mouse asking a boy for cookie. It starts off as innocent as giving the mouse that cookie, but then the mouse asks for milk and then this and then that and then this and then that…And by end of story, the mouse is so far off task that he ends up right where he started.
My life feels like that story right now. It’s as if one task melds into another into another and into another- like when Play-doh starts out as different colors, but by the end of day, its all one big pile of ugly brown. Example: I don’t have any clean jeans to wear. So, I transfer the dirty clothes out of the laundry hamper and into the basket. Then I notice that Isaac’s dirty clothes hamper is full. So, I empty his. Oh, there’s that cup we’ve been looking for in his bedroom. I pick up the cup, go to kitchen, and open the dishwasher. It’s full. So I empty the dishwasher and so I can put his cup in there. I put the other dishes that were in the sink in there as well. But wait, I can’t leave Isabella’s bottles in there b/c she’ll need them before we run the dishwasher again. I wash the bottles. And now that I’m in the kitchen, I need a snack. So I get a snack out and then my kids want snacks, too. We eat our snacks. Then I have to go to the bathroom. While I’m in there, I notice the toilet and sink need to be cleaned and the bath toys put away. Might as well do it while I’m thinking about it, right? I do a quick clean-up. Then I remember something that I need to pack for the next day. I gather it up and put by the front door. I notice the mail still setting there. I take it downstairs to the desk. Argh- I stepped on a Lincoln Log. I put the Lincoln Logs back in the can. Hmm, I should probably start packing the kids’ bags for tomorrow. I head back upstairs and into Isabella’s room for her diaper bag. I look thru it and decide to change the spare outfit that is in there. I rummage thru her drawers and wonder where that cute little pink shirt is. Oh yeah, it’s probably dirty. Then it reminds me of the one task I started out to do two hours earlier…laundry.
I dunno. Maybe its just me. I have always thought that multi-tasking was a good thing. The more, the better, right? Well, that is until I have twenty projects going on and no noticeable progress has made on anything except a bunch of stress for me. Why do I do that to myself? I’ve realized that the space between what my mind says I can and should get done and the reality of what actually does gets done is huge. And that, my friends, causes stress and grief.
I blogged in a previous post about being resolved. I also thought that God was telling me to “Simplify” this year. That’s good b/c I have never felt Him telling me anything specific about any year before. I was always secretly envious of people with “Life Verses” or yearly themes. Great, so now I have theme for 2009. The only part I didn’t know (and still don’t) was how or what to do to simplify. And now it is August and I still don’t know what it means or how to accomplish it. I know I haven’t been asking God about it as much as I should, but somehow I guess I just thought it would come to me. Does it mean cutting things out of my schedule? If so, what do I cut? Does it mean purging the house of unnecessary clothes, things, books, craft supplies (gasp), toys? Does it mean just doing the bare minimum to get by? Does it mean giving up time wasters- like TV, Facebook, blogging? The agony!! For me, ‘simplify’ does not mean ‘simple.’
I have started to try to stick to one thing as much as possible before moving on to the next. It’s been going alright and amazingly things have still been getting done in a somewhat timely manner. So, I think the thing for me to do is pray and get a regular time with God. Now, I want to wait to the perfect time- get the Jason Upton music on (no music calms my busy soul as his does), get my Bible out, notepad, pen… Okay, so when is that time? ‘Cause I never seem to find it. I get up early and somehow I still leave later than my target time. I try at night, but after making dinner, packing bags, picking out clothes (and you saw that goes), I’m just too tired to think. Well, maybe I’ll pray in the car, on my way to work. That lasts about two minutes. What is with me?
These are the lyrics to “From the Inside Out” from Hillsong that have been ruminating in my mind for the past few days:
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out
And the part I struggle with the most is : The art of losing myself in bringing you praise. And so I guess this is where faith comes into play. Faith that God is who is says He is; faith that God cares about me; faith that He is able. Faith that my life won't always be like this.
10 comments:
Wendy, your writing is full of insight and humor and depth!! I feel as though my life is like that book at times, not because of my workload, but because of my forgetfulness!! We are at different stages of life in our roles, but I am here for you.
Your life will not always be like it is now, that one thing is for certain.
And God cares for you so much, and has given you such a heart for Him, it is evident!
Wendy, thank you for opening your heart. You are not alone! You have much on your plate and it is difficult to juggle. I will be praying that God will give you moments to spend just with Him to refresh you and fill you with His peace that passes all understanding. I'll pray for Him to direct you moment by moment, step by step as you seek His will in trying to simplify.
I wish some of us lived close and could go do some of the Mommy chores for you so you could just have time to relax and enjoy your family. I guess long distance hugs & prayers will have to do for now, so I am sending you big hugs & lots of prayer!
Wendy, what a wonderful honest post! And yes, life is like that in a lot of households, but imagine facing it all without the Lord.
Every week our pastor exhorts us to spend that alone time with the Lord. I used to use my commute time to sing praise songs, but even then it felt a bit like 'cheating' because its not like you can close your eyes and get caught up in the music, you still have to watch the road! :) Sometimes I try to hide in the closet, but usually someone comes and knocks on the door . . . I hope you find that secret, quiet place where you can rest for just a moment!
And as a mom you have those daily, weekly, mundane tasks that need to be accomplished, and He knows that. You can praise him by doing just what you are doing, the laundry, the dishes, the toys, the . . .stuff that moms do. You are a great mom, wish I could be closer to come by and help empty the dishwasher. We're praying for you and giving you long distance hugs.
Wendy, That post was like looking in a mirror. I "multi-task" too. With similar results...lots of things started, but none finished. The Lord has been dealing with me, (just the last 2 days, in my recently forged out time with him), about letting my relationship with him backslide right outta the picture. Take comfort in that this is just another season we're going thru and He is waiting for us to get thru it. Praise God for His faithfulness and that He is the Lord of second, third, fourth... chances.
I will keep you in prayer.
What a great post sistah friend! I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR. Right now as I check in on everyone's blogs, my house looks like a bomb went off since we just home from camping. It smells like smoke, the laundry is piled high and I have no idea what we'll have for dinner tomorrow...but once everyone was bathed and in PJs, we sat and watched a movie together and with that I feel most accomplished. Someday we will have all the time in the world to make our house look the way we want. But right now we are doing the most important "job" of our lives...raising little lives for Jesus. You are an amazing mom and God sees you(even though we sometimes feel like nobody does!). He knows your needs and desires and He cares about every one of them. Let me know when you find that "quiet" time and I'll let you know when I find mine...we will find it!
I read your blog a few days ago, and have been thinking about it all weekend. We are back from three consecutive weekends with family, and sometimes I don't feel like there is time to recover before the next thing falls. But my biggest thought as I think we are all going through this time of young kids and change is...Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you...I know that will apply differently to me than it does to you, but I know God is looking for us to look to Him first, and then some how, in some way, things will fall into place and we can be used by Him. Thanks for sharing your heart, love you!
Wendy I think you have been following me around my house. I do the same thing way too often. Have perfect intentions to accomplish certain things and way too often get off track by all the other things in life.
It's tough finding a real balance, but you are off to the right start I think. Faith is the beginning! Without faith we can do nothing. And Traci is right, your life will not always be like it is now. Believe it or not there may come a time when you miss the way your life is now.
You are a very special person and you have a lot in your life now. Remember you are very much loved!!
I so could have written this myself. Great post! Exactly what I needed to read at this moment.
Thanks for being honest!
Wendy I just read your blog on
Wendy your post brings back to many memories of raising young children. we all go through seasons and this is yours. I still have the exact same challange, except with differnt distractions. God will meet you right where you are and he knows your heart. You are an amazing mother and wife. You are always there for Rick and always supporting him. I always tell dad what a wonderful wife you are. You are a loving mom and always ready to spend quality time with the kids. I want you to know I am always here to help at anytime. I always wanted to be a mother that could be there for my kids and help them in anyway I can, that's what I try to do for you and the others. I love you and always have you in my prayers. I guess with you and Sandra I find the best way I can help is to take care of the kids so you guys can do what you have to do without worrying about them. Just remember your priorities will always change, but God will always be first and everything else will fall into place.
Post a Comment